DALLAS -- Jerry Jones is on vacation in the Caribbean. Bill
Parcells is taking in spring training in Florida.
Rest up, guys. Because if the Dallas Cowboys take on the
challenge of Terrell Owens, the team's 60-something bosses are
going to need all the energy they can get.
Of course, Jones and Parcells probably don't see it that way.
The owner and coach have two of the biggest egos in football,
fueled by a combined five Super Bowls victories. Each has been
through his share of personality conflicts, having won enough to
think they can tame T.O.
And maybe they can.
But what if they can't?
Signing Owens might be the biggest risk-reward proposition in
all of pro sports these days, more than pitching to Barry Bonds
with the bases loaded or trying to slow Kobe Bryant without
double-teaming him.
For the Cowboys, the risk far outweighs the reward.
This isn't like 1995, when Jones signed Deion Sanders and Dallas
went back to the Super Bowl, winning its third title in four years.
This is 2006 and the Cowboys have gone nine seasons without
winning a playoff game. They're more than a great receiver away
from immediately becoming an elite team.
Sure, Owens would help close the gap, but the problems he's
capable of causing could set them further back.
Maybe he'd say nasty things about Drew Bledsoe, like he did
Donovan McNabb and Jeff Garcia. Maybe he'd take one of Parcells'
barbs the wrong way and go home to work out in his driveway again.
Or maybe playing in Texas Stadium, the site of his first outlandish
act, would trigger some other wacky behavior.
Even if he doesn't do anything bizarre, think of all the time
that'd be wasted speculating when, where, why and how he might go
off.
"It doesn't make a lot of sense to me," said George Teague,
the former Cowboys safety best remembered for taking down Owens
following his second celebration on the club's midfield star logo
while playing for San Francisco in 2000. "I don't see how he could
very well be accepted."
Who wouldn't accept him? Teague meant everyone from fans
alienated by Owens' disrespectful stunt to teammates wary of all
his antics.
"I believe in second chances and sometimes even third, but he's
kind of got a track record of doing things that disrupt the team
chemistry," said Teague, now the coach of a Fort Worth-area high
school football team.
"You'd always be wondering about this guy's agenda, especially
if things go sour. It's always going to be in the back of your
mind, what's going to happen if he only gets one ball this game? Is
he going to come in at halftime throwing helmets and cussing out
the offensive coordinator?"
Owens only seems happy when his team is winning, he's scoring a
lot and his paychecks are massive -- though not necessarily in that
order.
Jones could make him happy financially, at least at first.
Remember that Owens' problems with Philadelphia began when he
decided he'd outperformed his second-year salary. A short-term,
incentive-filled deal would be best, but if agent Drew Rosenhaus
can stir up a bidding war, then Jones will have to be at his
creative best to lure Owens and build in safeguards.
Winning will be tougher.
Dallas went 9-7 and was third in a division where everyone else
is improving. Washington has added a bunch of talent, New York has
Eli Manning developing and Philadelphia will have McNabb healthy
and a locker room no longer divided by Owens.
Jones and Parcells probably prefer thinking of the Cowboys as
having been 7-3 and atop the NFC going into Thanksgiving. OK, fine.
Then let's talk about the one free agent who would've been a
difference-maker last season: Adam Vinatieri.
Unreliable kicking was more of a factor in Dallas' woes than the
lack of an Owens-like receiving threat. The Cowboys went through
three kickers, finishing with a rookie they'd cut earlier in the
season because Parcells didn't trust him.
The wisecrack response is that you don't need field goals if
Owens is scoring touchdowns, but of course that's not entirely
true.
Another thing to consider is that the Cowboys won't be Owens'
only suitor. The Chiefs, Broncos and Dolphins are also interested.
Denver seems closest to a championship, but Owens may be wary of
quarterback Jake Plummer. He might fear the Broncos running too
often or even the altitude making his nose bleed.
He could be beloved in Kansas City. But it's Kansas City.
Miami won one game less than Dallas last season, but could be
rising faster. Catching passes from Daunte Culpepper might intrigue
Owens. He'd be closer to his native Atlanta and the South Beach
lifestyle could be to his liking, too, as would courtside seats to
watch Shaquille O'Neal and Dwyane Wade.
But there's something about winning with the Cowboys and getting
credit for reviving America's Team that might prove too enticing
for Owens. It was enough to pull Parcells out of retirement.
If it comes down to money, like it usually does, bet on Owens
pulling a Sharpie out of his sock and signing with Dallas. Jones
rarely gets outbid when he's up against the salary cap, much less
as far under it as the Cowboys are.
Should it happen, remember this warning from Teague:
"It's called the ripple effect," he said. Beyond losing fans,
Teague believes Owens' presence would make free agents and
potential coaches look elsewhere.
"They don't want to be part of him or an organization that
decides it wants him."