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CHICAGO -- On what feels like Day 175 of the Rocket Watch,
Roger Clemens threw batting practice and pronounced himself almost
ready for the major leagues. Again. This is getting old. I don't know about anybody else, but I'm
tired of Clemens' act and wish he would go away. Pitch or don't
pitch. Holding a handful of teams hostage while he takes until May
to decide what he wants to do, then wrangling a cushy contract that
puts him above the game has gotten annoying. Nobody is worth this kind of angst, not even a seven-time Cy
Young Award winner who still has a flame-thrower for an arm at 44. "It's a huge boost for us," New York Yankees outfielder Johnny
Damon said Wednesday. "Now we're looking at four guys who've
gotten the job done at the big league level. Our team will be a
better team that day." But at what price? By giving the right-hander a deal that
essentially allows him to be a part-timer -- an obscenely rich one,
at that -- the Yankees are setting a dangerous precedent. It's no surprise the Yankees went after Clemens. They're closer
to the bottom-feeding Tampa Bay Devil Rays than those loathsome Red
Sox these days, and we know how cranky George Steinbrenner gets
when his high-priced team is underachieving. Even with Wednesday
night's win in Chicago, the Yankees were still five games below
.500 and trailed Boston by double digits. While New York's rotation has stabilized recently, the starters
are 19-21 with a 4.74 ERA. The offense is sputtering, and it's
going to take work just to get back into wild-card contention. Clemens won't solve all of the Yankees' problems, but they
believe he's a start. Two months shy of his 45th birthday, he's still probably better
than most guys half his age. He picked up his most recent Cy Young
three years ago, and has had an ERA below 3.00 each of the last
three seasons. Last season, he had almost as many strikeouts (102)
as innings pitched (113 1-3). But Clemens is a mere mortal, not a messiah. Treating him as
such isn't good for anybody, no matter how many games he might win
this year. When Clemens hemmed and hawed last year, saying he really didn't
know if he wanted to pitch again, I believed him. His mother, Bess,
had died during the 2005 season, and he'd already missed too much
time away from his own family. His oldest son, Koby, was starting
his own professional baseball career, and it wouldn't be long
before his younger boys were off doing their own things, too. So when his hometown Houston Astros lured him back with the
promise that he could opt out of road trips if he wasn't scheduled
to pitch, it sounded like the ideal compromise. He could have his
career and his family, too. Only that wasn't quite the case. "What sort of happened was we'd turn on the TV, and he's
playing a golf tournament in Hollywood, so it evolved to be more
than just seeing family," Houston Astros manager Phil Garner said
recently on ESPN Radio's "Mike & Mike in the Morning" show. "And
that might have been a little bit of an issue. "But it did not hurt our ballclub." Of course not. Notice, though, that the Astros weren't exactly
distraught when the Yankees outbid them -- and everybody else -- for
Clemens' services this year. You'd think after going through his deliberations last year,
Clemens would have had a clearer idea of what he wanted to do this
year. But no. Or maybe he just didn't want to be bothered with
spring training and the first two months of the season. Whatever, all of baseball was hanging on his every word for
months. Would he pitch? Would he retire? Would he be the next
athlete to take a spin on "Dancing with the Stars?" By the time he finally made his big announcement -- perfectly
choreographed, right down to the appearance in Steinbrenner's box --
Clemens' act had worn thin. Hearing that he's again going to be
allowed to skip road trips when he's not pitching made it official. There was a time when no excuse was good enough to get players
time off. Birthdays, funerals, illness -- too bad. That's what the
offseason was for. Life in the major leagues is more humane now, and that's a good
thing. Angels manager Mike Scioscia left his team for two games
last month when his son was graduated from high school, and the
Cubs' Derrek Lee missed half of the last month of last season after
his daughter was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease. But Clemens' special treatment is in a category all by itself. If he wants to be with his family that badly, then stay home. If
he wants to play, his place is with his team. ------= Nancy Armour is a national sports columnist for The Associated
Press. Write to her at narmour@ap.org
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