PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. You could almost see the relief in Kevin Short's eyes. It came in the form of a little sparkle that hadn't been there in quite some time.
Part of it was because of a stringer of fish that hit the scales at 16 pounds, putting him as high in the standings as he's been the last two seasons. The other part was the absence of something dark and sinister.
For most of the past season, Short's fishing has been abysmal, forcing him into a mindset of desperation.
"Desperate ain't the word for it," Short would joke. "More like border-line suicidal."
With the presence of a hefty sack of largemouth in tow, things might be changing for Short. The three-year pro is in 18th place after Day One of the CITGO Bassmaster Elite Series event on Lake Champlain. That's compared to many events where he's been hovering around the bottom 18.
"There's something about this place that is making me feel real comfortable," Short said. "That's a feeling I haven't had in such a long time."
Back when he was feeling comfortable, Short won a Southern Open, qualified for the Tour and led the way in the Rookie of the Year standings before getting overtaken by Greg Hackney. He was in a position to qualify for the Bassmaster Classsic, and then all comfort levels just left.
His daughter Michelle Short was killed in a car crash, while Short was preparing to fish the last event of the 2004 season. In his words, "The world just crumbled around me."
It's been more than two years since and Short has spent every day picking up the pieces and trying to put them together again.
"I'm still trying to get over Michelle," Short said Thursday, after all the press had left his side and one friend continued to push as to why he hadn't been able to put things together.
"It's been so hard to focus. I used to be able to go all day and never realize that time was passing. Now I have a real hard time concentrating."
And time hasn't helped heal the wound.
"Sometimes I get to thinking every thing is going really well," Short said. "I get things started and invariably a guy will get in my boat, he'll see my wife put the boat in and he'll ask the question, 'You got any kids?'"
"And I have to go through it all over again. I can't get away from it. It doesn't go away. It will never go away."
It was there during the Major qualifications when other anglers received exemptions for illnesses. But no consideration was given for the loss of a child, even considering he would have qualified if he hadn't missed that final event in 2004. And it's continued to feed on itself all season long as one bad day after the other just magnified the pain.
"There have been times when I don't know if I've ever wanted a check so bad in my life and not get one," Short said. "It's worse because I know I'm just as good as these guys, I can catch them just as good because I've done it."
For those who know Short, Thursday's bright light of hope, in the form of a 16-pound stringer of largemouth, was a welcome sight.
"I think I'm finally starting to get comfortable with everything," Short said. "And I think Lake Champlain has done that for me. I don't know if it's the technique, the grass, the place I'm staying, but finally I'm feeling comfortable.
"I've been struggling, needing something, anything to get me on my way. And maybe all along it was just I needed to start feeling comfortable again."
The comfort level could have perfect timing. Short, despite having his worst season to date, is on the bubble for qualifying for the Major at Lake Wylie. A top finish at Champlain could get him in. But more importantly, a top finish here, followed by a decent finish on the Potomac River, would get him in the final Major on the Arkansas River, his home water.
That is one event Short has felt that the comfort level would certainly have to return, where he could hopefully put many things to rest. Thursday, a 16-pound stringer of largemouth moved him a little closer to getting that done.