I don't like to age myself, but I'm old enough to have a) been alive when the television set received only three local channels and two of them came in clear enough to view only when Dad wrapped the rabbit ears around in a knot; b) been alive when the prime interest rate was 20 1/2 percent and I thought getting a home loan a few years later at 14 percent was cool; and c) been alive when fantasy football commissioners actually computed weekly stats by hand.
That's right, I'm old enough to have lived before cable TV, before you could get a 15-year home loan for less than five percent and before online fantasy commissioner services were invented. I'm old, alright, but at least I have enough good years ahead of me to enjoy all of the goodies we have today.
Although I'm a fantasy baseball diehard, I'm also a fantasy football fanatic, which happens when you have lived your whole life in the shadow of Titletown U.S.A. (yes, Green Bay is called that!). I've actually been the commissioner of our family fantasy football league since 1987 and have seen the progress technology has provided us. Not only does the computer figure out our weekly scores for us now, but it has allowed us to expand our scoring categories and enjoy fantasy football even more than we did 16 years ago.
Now with ESPN.com set to debut its first commissioner service - Fantasy Football League Manager - it's time to see the benefits of hosting your league online. Here's my own version of the Top 10 Reasons To Use A Fantasy Football Commissioner Service In 2003:
10: Scoring results are faster than Ashley Lelie in the 40-yard dash. Why wait for your league commissioner to compile every team's scores on Tuesday or even after that? With real time stats on ESPN Fantasy Football League Manager, you can see how your team is performing as the NFL games are being played. And you can log online anytime during the games to see how your opponent(s) is doing against you. Get the actual feel of the game on GameDay through real-time stats.
9: Expansion is now as easy as a Morten Andersen extra point. ESPN Fantasy Football League Manager fits leagues from four to 20 teams, so you can customize your small family league or add more teams to your league at no additional cost. Adding expansion teams to your league won't add additional time and effort for your league commissioner as now the computer will do all the work for you.
8: Adding new scoring categories makes as much sense as having Brett Favre in your lineup every week. When our league first started in 1987, we just used touchdowns as a scoring category to keep things simple. By the mid-1990s, it made sense to provide bonus points for 100-yard rushing and receiving games and 300-yard passing games. Now thanks to all of these commissioner services, teams can fully customize their scoring categories to include everything from yards to tackles. Giving bonus points for every 10 yards rushing and receiving and 20 yards passing is almost standard in the industry today, and it's all because of these online commissioner services.
7: League Message Boards can be as vibrant as the Dog Pound in December when the Steelers are in town. You can save a lot of money on your phone bill by logging onto your private league's Message Boards each Sunday. I don't know about your league, but our league is filled throughout the day with trash talk about each other's fantasy teams and of course second-guessing of our beloved Packers. It's a family forum on a conference call without the cost of a long distance bill. By day's end, there's enough smack talk on those boards to send us all to the confessional.
6: There's no lineup second-guessing when you can ask Bill Parcells for help. ESPN Fantasy Football League Manager will have something special this year when each owner will have Hector and Victor predict which players in your lineup will score the most points each week. Okay, so Hector and Victor aren't Bill Parcells, but they could get more air time on ESPN this year than Big Bill down in Big D. And they'll probably lead your fantasy team to more wins this year than Parcells will get in Dallas.
5: You can still compete in all of the national contests while adding another league to your lineup card. The beauty of online commissioner services is that it's so easy that you can still compete in all of your regular national contests while just adding another league to your dance card. The average fantasy player competes in almost three football leagues per year, according to a recent Fantasy Sports Trade Association survey, and goofs like myself compete in five or six leagues a year. It's easy to do when you have an online service telling you who to start each week, telling you when your players have byes and telling you what free agents are available to help your team. Add one more Super Bowl trophy to your resume by playing in multiple leagues in 2003.
4: Because you can look hotter than a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. When you sign up for ESPN Fantasy Football League Manager, you get an ESPN the Magazine long sleeve T-shirt. Okay, so most fantasy football commissioners take an XXXL, but you can still look hot in one of those even if it is the size of a king size bed sheet.
3: This introduction could lead to more fantasies. Once you see how easy it is to use an online commissioner service, your imagination will run wild. Next thing you know you'll be competing in fantasy baseball, fantasy basketball, fantasy NASCAR, fantasy hockey and even fantasy golf. Your sports world will be one big fantasy as you draft Emmitt Smith, Bud Smith, Joe Smith and Dan Smith. I don't even want to suggest what other fantasies you may desire after that.
2: You'll be more prepared than the Minnesota Vikings on Draft Day. Thanks to the ESPN Draft Kit and off-season scouting reports courtesy of ESPN Insider, you'll be ready for every pick when your draft rolls around. You'll have so much pre-draft information that there's no way you'll let a pick slip by before your time is up, something the Vikings comically have done the last two years.
And the No. 1 reason for using an online commissioner service in 2003: Because you're a dweeb if you don't. Join the 21st century and get with the times. It's no longer 1980, so order cable TV, refinance your home loan and use some of that extra money to get your league online and up to speed. Take it from a child of the 1960s, it doesn't get any better than this.
(Greg Ambrosius is the editor of Fantasy Sports Magazine, whose Football Draft Issue is currently on newsstands nationwide. For more information on that issue or for questions, contact Greg at scd@krause.com.)