In last week's column, Steve Wulf mused about what human history, culture and literature might be like if we were all a bit more like underpaid baseball stars. We asked you to play along, and lo and behold we got hundreds of e-mails. Here are some of the best:
"And A-Rod said, 'Let there be loot!' And there was loot."
-- Genesis (submitted by Nick Dent)
"Walk softly, but carry a bigger paycheck."
-- Teddy Roosevelt (submitted by Rick Aldrich)
"That's one small step for man, and one giant step toward my
next contract."
-- Neil Armstrong (submitted by Bart Marley)
"I can't get no sat-is-faction, because I'm only the third-highest-paid first
baseman in the game."
-- The Rolling Stones (submitted by James R. Hupp)
"I like me ... I really, really like me."
-- Sally Field (submitted by Brien Martin)
"I shall return ... as long as I am paid in the top five, with less than 20% deferred."
-- Douglas MacArthur (submitted by Kenneth Lemke)
"... among these [rights] are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of arbitration."
-- Thomas Jefferson (submitted by J. Kuethe)
"It is always painful to part from those whom one has just met. But the
absence of old friends, one can endure with a fifteen million dollar signing bonus."
-- Oscar Wilde (submitted by Sean McCallum)
"Four million and seven hundred thousand dollars ago, my agent came forth to you ..."
-- Abraham Lincoln (submitted by Mike Jennings)
"What is good? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of the general manager."
-- Genghis Khan (submitted by Paul Ranno)
"It's easy having green."
-- Kermit the Frog (submitted by Matt Tray)
"Give me liberty or a decent buyout clause."
-- Patrick Henry (submitted by Jim Clark)
"Baseball is 90% salary. The other half is endorsements."
-- Yogi Berra (submitted by Nick Demola)
"There is no joy in Mudville ... Mighty Casey has held out."
-- Ernest Lawrence Thayer (submitted by N.R. Sager)