Jerry Glanville is a fascinating character.

As a child, I loved the black garb, the Big E shades, the quick-witted, country-boy charm and the direct approach. I didn't like the Atlanta Falcons, but Coach Glanville made me want to.

Reminding referees that they weren't in college anymore made me laugh. Reminding them in the wake of suspect calls that "NFL means Not For Long" made me laugh harder.

Glanville was different than other authority figures. He was free-wheeling and flippant. He was a gunslinger.

My old man loved gunslingers, so I do too.

I was chatting with a buddy of mine this week who knew the former NFL head coach-turned-NASCAR racer, and he was telling tales so outrageous they left me howlin' at the devil. I figured I'd call Glanville and hear a few for myself.

When he answered, I introduced myself, and he said, "Welllllll now ... how about this."

I knew I was in. I'd been warned to be careful, that ol' Jerry's tales grew taller than Jack's beanstalk. But I figure everybody's game for some embellishment from a big character like him.

I asked him all manner of things, such as his favorite memories in the garage and the best lesson NASCAR taught him. He didn't breathe for 30 minutes, maybe 40. It was one long run-on sentence. And it was awesome.

He told me Dale Earnhardt was his professor. Then he told me he'd never told a soul that before.

"Dale was my coach. He'd take me to Richmond, and I'd only race [Turns] 1 and 2 from breakfast all the way to lunch," Glanville said. "Then he'd make us lunch, and we'd eat. He'd make the lunch, Dale Earnhardt. And after lunch, he'd teach me [Turns] 3 and 4. And I'd ask him, 'What about my lap speed?' And he say, 'Lap speed is all motor and gears! I'm not interested in either. I'm interested in you being dynamite in [Turn] 3 and 4. That's where you win races.'

"We weren't warm and fuzzy, but I think he respected me from football, as a coach. And he'd tell me when he was coaching me, 'Hell! Come on! Get in there harder!' He'd get after me. 'Run that damn thing in there!' And I'd complain that it wouldn't turn, and he'd yell, 'Turn the sumb---- with the brake!' It was amazing."

Glanville has a few tales about Big E, such as the time Earnhardt wanted to partner on a Cup team. Earnhardt wanted to buy an existing team and put Glanville in the seat, he said.

"He said, 'The way you drive? We'll go straight to the front!'" Glanville said. "Then he wrecked me at Rockingham and said, 'I didn't teach you that, did I?' And he'd just laugh."

Glanville laughs a lot. He tells tale upon tale about his passion for racing and giggles like the Joker.

"Dale wrecked me at Rockingham. Then Junior wrecked me somewhere -- at the Monster Mile, I think," Glanville said with a chuckle. "So now I'm racing Charlotte, and Kerry wrecks me on Lap 6. We qualified 11th and ran to like third on Lap 6. And Kerry wrecks me. So TV comes by [and] says, 'Coach, that was awful.' I said, 'Somebody go get Earnhardt's daughter! She's the only one in the family that hasn't wrecked me!'"

We laughed some more.

He told me that famed engine builder Ernie Elliott -- Awesome Bill's brother -- once said Glanville "had the longest straightaways in the sport." I asked what that meant, and Glanville said, "First one in the gas and the last one off it."

He told me he once drove Kyle Petty's Mello Yello No. 42 Pontiac. He said crew chief Robin Pemberton, now NASCAR's vice president of competition, set up the car for him at a test. Bill, testing that same day, couldn't catch him, he said. Pemberton vaguely remembers it.

Glanville spoke about running back-to-back races on the track then zooming cross-country in his team rig, racing all comers down the interstate. He'd drive the first leg of every trip, 12 hours a pop. He loved that rig. He said Dale always wanted to buy it for hunting because it slept five or six people.

One time, he was pulling the rig out of Rockingham and the security guard stopped him.

"'Is that you driving that Western Star, Coach?' the guard asked. 'You're the second driver I've ever seen that leaves here driving the team rig,'" Glanville said. "I said, 'Who's the other?' He said, 'AJ Foyt.' That's pretty good company, right there."

He told me about the time a young kid walked up to him at the track and said, "Mr. Glanville, my dad says that whatever Coach Glanville is driving, he's getting everything that car has to offer."

That kid was Brad Keselowski. If any racer knows about doing a lot with a little, it's Keselowski's father, Bob.

"I think he meant we never just rode around," Glanville said. "He don't know me from a jar of Vick's. But we never rode."

Keselowski said that sounds exactly like something he'd have said to Glanville.

Glanville jokes that he was a rookie the same year as Jeff Gordon. Gordon was 17. Glanville was 54.

"My last few races I paid my entry fee with my social security check," Glanville howled.

The thing that struck me during this conversation was a sense of missed opportunity. It was palpable that Glanville felt he'd missed a chance to legitimately compete. I badgered him to expound.

"I didn't realize at the time how honored I should have been that Dale Earnhardt wanted me to drive his Chevrolet," Glanville said.

He wasn't laughing now. The tone shifted. He was quite serious.

"I was driving a Buick, and Dale wanted me to drive his Busch car," he said. "I sat up on the wheel, but he laid back so far I could barely see over the bottom of the window sill.

"Knowing what happened afterward ..."

He paused.

"I doubt Dale Earnhardt ever took anybody else to the track and coached them," Glanville said. "To this day, Ernie Elliott says I drove just like Earnhardt. To this day, I've never told anybody who was my teacher.

"He'd have two telephone poles between Turn 1 and 2, and he'd time me between these poles. And we'd do it all morning long. And then he'd coach me. He once brought Richard Childress to a test I ran. And about Lap 3 I was showing off and wadded it up. Just wadded that car up. And Childress said, 'Well, I didn't get to see much.'

"I still think about that. You never know when you got your chance."

He left me with that.

There's nothing tall about that lesson.

Marty,

What's Jeff Burton's future in the 31? They've struggled so bad, and everyone's saying Kurt Busch will be in that car. Give me some answers, man! Burton's my driver!

-- Jimmy Hypes, Danville, Va.

I spoke with Burton about this, Jimmy, because you're right, the rumors are swirling regarding the No. 31 team's direction and future.

He didn't hesitate. "Not only do I expect to be there...