Chris Heston, slowpoke.
That's right, it took a whopping 13 starts for the San Francisco Giants rookie to finally record his first no-hitter Tuesday night against the New York Mets. That's not fast enough to make a dent in the top 10 list of "earliest" MLB no-hitters, even if you count just from the start of baseball's Expansion Era.
So, while we all ponder what took Heston so darn long to notch his no-no, let's count down the quickest no-hitters -- based on career starts -- since 1961, and what became of the names on the list:
Don Wilson, Houston Astros -- 12th start
On June 18, 1967, Wilson wowed the Astrodome crowd, no-hitting a Braves club that had some guy named Hank Aaron hitting third (Wilson struck him out three times en route to 15 K's on the day). The rookie posted a 10-9 record in 1967 and followed it up with three 15-plus-win seasons in a nine-year career that also included an All-Star Game appearance in 1971, in which he tossed two more hitless innings -- against the AL All-Star team.
Kent Mercker, Atlanta Braves -- 12th start
The strike-marred 1994 season ended early, but Mercker made the most of it, no-hitting Mike Piazza's Dodgers in Los Angeles on April 8: the fifth game of the season and the converted reliever's 12th career start. Mercker eventually would bounce back to the pen, where he spent most of his 18-year career, but he'd still be in Atlanta's rotation the next season, when he served as the fifth starter for the World Series champs, behind Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, John Smoltz and Steve Avery.
Bud Smith, St. Louis Cardinals -- 11th start
On Sept. 3, 2001, Smith stymied the San Diego Padres at Qualcomm Stadium for his fourth win of the season. Unfortunately for the lefty, he was now more than halfway to his career win total of seven. Injuries and ineffectiveness earned him a ticket out of town and eventually baseball. But he left St. Louis with a bang: The Cards dealt him to Philly as part of a package for Scott Rolen, the Gold Glove-winning third baseman who'd help lead the club to two NL pennants and the 2006 World Series title.
Steve Busby, Kansas City Royals -- 10th start
Busby had a quick rise to the top followed by a slow fade-out after undergoing rotator cuff surgery in 1976. Busby's 10th career start, on April 27, 1973, in Detroit, featured six walks and a wild pitch but no Tigers hits. And Busby wasn't done. He'd throw another no-hitter the following season, a June 19 gem in Milwaukee -- in his 58th career start, for those scoring at home.
Mike Warren, Oakland Athletics -- Ninth start
Warren's ninth and final start of 1983 -- on Sept. 29 against Tony La Russa's AL West-champion White Sox -- earned him a place in baseball history, though not much else. He'd fall out of Oakland's rotation by May of the following season. He pitched his final major league game on July 2, 1985, allowing two inherited runners to score on a three-run George Brett bomb and surrendering four earned runs of his own in 2⅔ innings of, um, relief.
Vida Blue, A's -- Eighth start
The biggest name on our list -- a future Cy Young winner, MVP and six-time All-Star -- made six starts as a 21-year-old in late 1970. Two of them were complete games and one of them, on Sept. 21 vs. the Twins, was a no-hitter. Blue's only blemish was a fourth-inning walk to Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew, though it's hard to fault him for that.
Bill Stoneman, Montreal Expos -- Fifth start
In most respects, 1969 was a season to forgot for Stoneman. Yes, he became the ace of the the Expos' first-ever starting rotation after being nabbed from the Cubs in the expansion draft. But Montreal would lose 110 games that year, and Stoneman would be saddled with 19 of them. (Notorious for his hitting woes, he'd also whiff 55 times in 73 at-bats.) Still, everything went his way on April 17, when Stoneman no-hit the Phillies at Connie Mack Stadium. Stoneman would win 17 games for the Astros in 1971 and make the NL All-Star team in 1972 but was out of baseball by 1975.
Bo Belinsky, Los Angeles Angels -- Fourth start
Because Belinsky pitched for five teams in eight big league seasons, you can probably guess where this one's going: May 5, 1962, just his fourth appearance in a big league uniform, would end up being Belinsky's MLB high-water mark. The Angels would beat Baltimore 2-0 in what was the first no-hitter ever thrown at Dodger Stadium. Belinsky, who'd be on the other end of Boston Red Sox righty Earl Wilson's no-hitter later that season, had a colorful off-field life that included dating a host of Hollywood starlets. But it was punching Los Angeles Times sportswriter Braven Dyer that cost him much of his 1964 season and, ultimately, his career as an Angel.
Burt Hooton, Chicago Cubs -- Fourth start
Hooton impressed the Cubs in 1971, tossing a pair of complete games and a shutout in two September 1971 starts. So it was no surprise when Hooten took the mound on April 16, 1972 -- Opening Day at Wrigley -- and looked good, though a tad wild, against the Phillies. Despite walking seven batters, the 22-year-old completed the no-hitter and later went on to help lead the Dodgers to three NL pennants and a World Series title, winning NLCS MVP honors in 1981.
Wilson Alvarez, Chicago White Sox -- Second start
Alvarez got a do-over. Called up by the Texas Rangers for a start against Toronto on July 24, 1989 -- his MLB debut -- Alvarez didn't retire a batter, allowing three runs on two home runs and two walks before getting the hook. Flash-forward two years to Aug. 11, 1991, Alvarez's next start and his first for the White Sox. That day, Alvarez was a tad better, no-hitting the Orioles in Baltimore. Alvarez would last 14 years in the bigs with five teams, twice winning 15 games and making the All-Star team in 1994.
Clay Buchholz, Red Sox -- Second start
The only active member of our list, Buchholz has been both brilliant and brutal for Boston so far during his nine-year career. On Sept. 1, 2007, he no-hit the O's at Fenway Park. Not that the Red Sox needed the help -- behind a bases-clearing double by David Ortiz in the fourth, the Sox blasted Baltimore, 10-0. Since then, Buchholz has made two All-Star teams and was a 17-game winner in 2010, but his final story remains to be written.