WIMBLEDON, England -- The hours are counting down before the granddaddy of them all kicks off. So the players are feeling a sense of excitement, optimism and, of course, some trepidation. As you can imagine, the rhetoric runs rampant as the stars line up to take their final turn with the pestering media. But you don't always get the sense they're quite spilling the beans and divulging their true feelings.

Thankfully, we're here to help guide you through those trite, often unsatisfactory, answers to reveal exactly what the players' responses really mean:

Roger Federer on his draw

Federer's response: "For myself, obviously, I got maybe a lot of lefties in my draw, so that's what I'm going to start preparing on."

What he really means: For the love of God, please, oh, puh-lease, don't let that hulking lefty, Rafael Nadal, with that huge topspin forehand that eats away at my far inferior backhand, be on the other side of the net -- now or ever again. He thrashes me and diminishes my legendary status every bloody time we play.

Federer on whether anyone can break up another Big Two showdown in the final

Federer's response: "Hopefully, it's my time of year now or someone else's."

What he really means: Well, if Rafa hurts his knee again and plays right-handed or if Djokovic gets stuck in the London Eye or something, then this Wimbledon bad boy is all mine. Oh, and by the way, by "someone else's," who else could that possibly be? Murray? Ha-ha-ha!

Serena Williams on her confidence

Williams' response: "I wouldn't be here if I didn't feel confident."

What she really meant: I wouldn't be here if the shopping wasn't awesome. Oxford Street and Notting Hill and Canary Wharf. The effortless fashion and standout designs here in London are awesome. And it'll give me some new, cool ideas I can sell to you on the Home Shopping Network. So get your credit cards ready, suckers.

Rafael Nadal on comparing his rivalries with Federer and Djokovic

Nadal's response: "That you have to ask the fans."

What he really meant: Hello! Have you seen me pound Federer all these years? What's my record against him anyway? Like, 50-10? Did you watch me end his run here at Wimbledon 2008? You may have heard about that match, no? But I really hope Djokovic gets stuck in the London Eye or something. I can take him on clay, but that dude is too good on the other surfaces. Wimbledon a year ago, then the U.S. and Australian Opens. He beats me every time. Give me Fed, baby, and that trophy is all mine.

Maria Sharapova on what it would mean to win Wimbledon

Sharapova's response: "I don't know if words can really describe that feeling of winning a Grand Slam."

What she really meant: Yahoo! Yippie do da! Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, HEY! Yay for me! Take that, Victoria and Serena!

Andy Murray on playing in front of his home country

Murray's response: "Doesn't add any pressure."

What he really means: Get me out of this blasted place. Ghosts and Fred Perry and 1936 and an entire nation ready to blow its collective gasket, if I so much as double fault. Henman couldn't do it. I can't win it. Anyone know when the Shanghai Masters begins?

Li Na on her first Wimbledon memories

Li's response: "The weather, of course. And strawberries and cream."

What she really meant: The weather, of course. And strawberries and cream.