I went to the very first Breeder's Cup event in Los Angeles when Wild Again bullied his way through on the rail to gain the victory.
"Who won?" I said, which is not what you expect to say from a "box seat" at Hollywood Park, the quote marks around "box seats" signifying sarcasm.
Breeder's Cup weekend is for showing off, particularly in LA, where acting out is the norm. So I had ordered a box seat for four and put the purchase on a credit card, which barely supported the tab.
Breeder's Cup weekend is for showing off, particularly in LA, where acting out is the norm.
My wife of that moment and my movie agent and her husband occupied my "box" of seats. This agent was to become the focal point of a multi-million dollar lawsuit involving one of my books and its movie rights. This civil dispute actually went to trial in downtown LA. There is a stipulation in the law out there that says anybody past a certain age gets priority over things like axe murder disputes. So we got beepers and had an hour to get to court once summoned. Before the trial started, the lawyers suggested it wouldn't hurt if I acted dumb if called to the stand to testify. I said that I could do that. The trial lasted two weeks. The judge was the guy who handled the Charles Manson case. It would have been fascinating had I not been so terrified. The case against my agent was thrown out of court. To celebrate that night, seven of us, LA lawyers included, went to a top-dollar restaurant to have a party. The agent's husband, who picked the restaurant, the wine and the food, slipped me the tab under the table, a typical LA move. The night of victory cost me well more than one thousand bucks.
The Hollywood Park race track has been plowed under. Even in its day, Hollywood Park was to Hollywood as off Broadway was to Broadway. It was way off. It was often on a landing path to LAX, causing me to wish numerous times on that Breeder's Cup day, I sure wish I was on that airplane.
Tickets were hard to come by. Being "press," I ordered a little late but still was given four box seats in the "new" section of the race track.
A funny feeling evolved when, after trying to enter the box seat gate at the main clubhouse, we were told to go that way, away from the track proper, make a left, and enter through the last place at the end, just before you got to the delivery trucks.
Our "box" was comprised of four folding chairs outdoors. We were so far down the track, it took a while for screeches and whoops from the finish line to reach us.
I haven't been so embarrassed since I had seats on the top row of the end zone at an Orange Bowl. There was almost lightning below us that night.
Drunks had the "box" next to us at the Hollywood Park Breeder's Cup. They drank beer and cussed and tried to make side bets with me because the crowds were such that they couldn't get to the windows. We'd wager on such things as which horse would run worse, twenty bucks.
My agent and her horse's backside husband spent the afternoon trying not to be seen in what amounted to a glorified railbird section. Needless to say, we were substantially overdressed. My guests started talking about having to get home after the third race and left after the sixth race.
My wife at the time and I spent the weekend in a tastefully decadent boutique hotel across a street or two from Beverly Hills. Where they got the "tastefully" was anybody's guess. It was probably self-proclaimed. Maybe it was the bougainvillea crawling all over the place. A "boutique" hotel is one where there's no room service. In this one, a reasonably famous ventriloquist had been shot in one of the rooms, but not ours, so that show biz story went.
The only ticket I turned in was for valet parking at the track.
I lost so much money at that Breeder's Cup - sitting in folding chairs, there was no way to manage a Racing Form -- that my wife of the moment looked the other way for the remainder of the outing.
The Breeder's Cup is in LA again, at Santa Anita on Oct. 31 and Nov. 1. What could be more appropriate than a Halloween Friday at a horse race track in Los Angeles.
Here's a tip.
Take plenty of money.
And don't bet much of it.
Breeder's Cup races are so competitive that favorites are good only on races for youthful horses.
And remember this. Besides being "The City of Angels," LA is also the "City of Quote Marks."