Today marks the 70th birthday of one Mr. Stephen Orr Spurrier.

That's the Head Ball Coach or just Coach Spurrier to most.

Seventy years of Spurrier have been good to planet Earth and great to college football. He's delivered myriad perfectly timed quips and digs, and some have come at the most appropriately inappropriate times. And he's won a lot of games -- 226 in college to be exact.

But instead of having Kanye West and Beyonce headline an extravagant party to celebrate the big 7-0, he's taking time to relax on the golf course, on a boat and then have dinner with friends.

According to Josh Kendall of The State Newspaper:

"Spurrier will start the day at the Black Diamond golf course near Crystal River, Fla., then take a friend’s boat up the Crystal River before joining wife Jerri and three close friends from Orlando, Fla., for dinner. The Spurriers will spend his birthday at their beach home in Crescent Beach, Fla., and return to Columbia on Wednesday for a family birthday party, said wife Jerri Spurrier, who will make her husband a cheesecake."

Not bad. Not bad, at all.

So what do you give the man with so many wins and an impressive golf handicap? Well, here are five things I think he'd like:

1. Dinner with Mark Richt and Phil Fulmer: Dinner with friends is great, and I'm sure Spurrier will have a great time, but how about a meal with two guys he's loved to pick at over the years. Fulmer took a lot of jabs from Spurrier during his time as Tennessee's head coach, and Richt is still listening to barbs from Spurrier as the head coach at Georgia. Spurrier has compiled a record of 30-16 against those schools. I'm sure he'd have a lot of fun with those two sitting across from him on a day in which he's even more verbally invincible.

2. A week-long trip to each site of golf's four major events: As if Spurrier needs anymore golf in his life. But for someone who loves the sport as much as he does, I'm sure a week at all four courses for the PGA's Majors in 2015 would be something he wouldn't object to. Augusta is in his backyard, so I'm guessing he'd start there ... you know, to warm up and everything. Then, he could pop up to Whistling Straits in Kohler, Wisconsin, before heading out to Chambers Bay in Washington. He would probably want to get back home real quick, take a shot a the Georgia Bulldogs, and then hop on a plane to Scotland for a day -- or two -- at St. Andrews.

3. A guest ranger at a golf course with SEC coaches: You know what would really make the Head Ball Coach happy -- have him meticulously watch each and every stroke of all other 13 SEC coaches out on the golf course. Spurrier is a real stickler for counting all strokes and putting everything out. You better believe you won't be raking in two-and-a-half-foot puts with Spurrier around. There are no gimmies in golf alongside Spurrier. I bet he'd take a little joy in watching a couple of his competitors sweat out a few putts in front of him.

4. Another year of eligibility from Jadeveon Clowney: Anyone in America would take this, but the Gamecocks really need someone to help them with their pass-rush, and since Clowney left South Carolina before his senior year, I'm sure someone, somewhere can find some eligibility for the NFL rookie. He didn't play much last season, so you know his body didn't have to take an NFL pounding, and I'd guess his knee is better. South Carolina had a league-low 14 sacks last season, so yeah, Clowney would be a welcomed addition.

5. His own workout video: Spurrier isn't shy about his workouts. Not at all. The man might be 70, but he's still a workout warrior, and I'm sure he'd love to strut is gym stuff in front of the cameras for all the world to see. I'm sure he's got plenty of valuable pointers, too. You don't look like that at 70 without knowing what you're doing in the weight room. I'd love to spend a day in the gym with the Head Ball Coach and get some 'cep work in.