NCAAF teams
David M. Hale 9y

Happy Halloween in the ACC

Comparing ACC teams to horror villains in honor of Halloween:

Boston College: Chucky. We could never quite figure the drama of the “Child’s Play” movies. How is does a doll manage to terrify everyone? It’s sort of the same thing for Boston College. We’re not sure how Steve Addazio is doing it, but once again, he’s creating some havoc around the ACC.

Clemson: Pennywise. For our money, there’s nothing scarier than Stephen King’s evil clown. And around the ACC, what could be scarier than that Clemson defense?

Duke: Michael Myers. He’s quiet, he’s faceless, he’s ferocious. That’s Duke, too. The Blue Devils are that team that sneaks up on the rest of the Coastal and continues to torment again and again. Sure, they don’t have the flash of Freddy or Jason, but for sheer slasher-film consistency, it’s tough to argue with Mr. Myers, and it’s tough to find a team haunting its division more impressively than Duke.

Florida State: Frankenstein's monster. In spite of so many NFL departures and nagging injuries, Jimbo Fisher has still stitched together a team capable of inflicting serious damage this season -- a little like how Dr. Frankenstein stitched together his monster. And like the monster, FSU continues to rise from the dead -- coming back from deficits against NC State, Notre Dame and Louisville in miracle fashion. Fisher truly is a mad scientist.

Georgia Tech: The Xenomorph. The alien that stalked Ripley through four films was an unstoppable, genetically perfect killing machine. That’s sort of a good analogy for Paul Johnson’s offense at Georgia Tech. It’s not pretty -- but it just keeps coming at you again and again.

Louisville: Darth Vader. Bobby Petrino is back to work on a second Death Star, and while he’s widely reviled, we’re still hoping there’s some good under that mask.

Miami: The Blair Witch. Because it seemed a lot scarier in the 1990s than it does today. (Just kidding, Miami fans. We still love ya.)

North Carolina: Jason Vorhees. Just when you think you’ve killed them off, the Tar Heels are back again. This year’s rise from the grave could still put UNC in the ACC championship game if it can win out, which we’d happily dub Friday the 13th Part X: Fedora Takes Charlotte.

NC State: Regan MacNeil. The only thing NC State needs to prove the program is possessed by the devil is for Dave Doeren to start spitting some pea soup during his next postgame news conference. It’s an 11-game losing streak in ACC play for the Wolfpack, and someone needs to call in a priest to exorcise those demons. (And you thought we’d take the easy way out and pick the Wolfman, didnt’ you?)

Notre Dame: The Leprechaun. OK, this was an easy one, but since Notre Dame only gets partial member status in the ACC, we’re OK taking the easy way out. On a side note though, this has to be the most ridiculous idea for a horror movie sequel ever.

Pittsburgh: Two-Face. The Batman villain seems an appropriate costume for the ACC team that has managed to bounce back and forth from good to bad most often this season. Thumping BC? Check. Losing to Akron? Check. Upending Virginia Tech? No problem. Winning again the following week against Georgia Tech? Um, we think Pitt may have just fumbled again.

Syracuse: Uli the Nihilist. The semi-villain of “The Big Lebowski” feels like a good fit for Syracuse. He seemed a bit intimidating at the beginning of the film, but by the end, he was left with nothing but a bag full of Walter’s undies. Plus, like Syracuse’s offense in transition, Uli believes in nothing.

Virginia Tech: The Mummy. We’re not talking the newer version with Brendan Fraser, but the classic mummy wrapped in bandages. That feels appropriate for the banged-up Hokies, who’ve got plenty of key players bandaged up and hoping to postpone the end for a bit longer.

Virginia: Hannibal Lecter. Because if there’s any team that should be able to pair a nice chianti with a big conference win, it seems like it should be Virginia.

Wake Forest: Jigsaw. In the “Saw” movies, a terrifying set of circumstances leave the hero with virtually no options for escape and no ability to run. If that doesn’t sum up Wake Forest’s season, we don’t know what does.

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