ESPN Mad Men: The Soccer Team

Like soccer, "Mad Men" has often been criticized for being too slow and too often pushed on non-converts by overeager hipsters. Both may be overly dramatic at times with unfathomable storylines.

But a good soccer team is a fine-tuned machine consisting of different skill sets and personalities, melded together to form the "beautiful game." And well, that's exactly what Matthew Weiner's multiple-Emmy-winning show did well, too.

So some of us are having a hard time saying goodbye to not only one of the best shows ever, but also to end of the club soccer season (at least for a few months). To help us get through it, we lined up our favorite characters from the world of Sterling Cooper into a soccer lineup. Seemed only right.

Striker: Roger Sterling. Petulant. Overpaid. You can't take your eyes off of him. He's the perfect target man at the top of the squad sheet. Think Mario Balotelli. As Sterling said, "Nobody knows what I'm doing. It's good for mystique."

Striker: Pete Campbell. The wunderkind who's been groomed for this position his whole life and has unmistaken talent, but no one really likes to work with him. "Why can't I get anything good all at once?"

Attacking MF: Don Draper. The man in the middle of it all who stirs the drink -- oftentimes literally if it was an old fashioned. He may demand too much of the credit too often, but with the price tag a player like this commands, "that's what the money is for."

Winger: Peggy Olson. With the Samsonite and Burger Chef accounts, she's proved that her chemistry with Draper in tight spots is unmatched. She may parlay that connection into a big payday for her next contract.

Winger: Sally Draper. A youngster who's had a lot of responsibility hoisted on her before she was ready. But she's the golden child that has superstar written all over her. Doesn't choke easily. Her career will be an adventure.

Defensive MF: Lane Pryce. A good defensive midfielder knows his/her role, doing the dirty work to let the more high-profile teammates shine. And Pryce, an unassuming "hard man" who isn't afraid to take down a snot-nosed youngster, fits the bill.

Fullback: Ken Cosgrove. Hard-working, versatile professional who doesn't need this job, but thirsts for that next paycheck. Atlantic Monthly loved publishing his greatest hits. Struggles in road games at Detroit.

Defender: Bert Cooper. If the old adage that you win championships with defense is true, it's because Bert payrolled it. Rock-solid and dependable, he's been known to play full games without cleats.

Defender: Betty Francis. Like some of the best defenders of all time, Birdie can speak Italian.

Fullback: Joan Harris. Did thankless work on both ends of the field/office.

Goalie: Stan Rizzo. Tim Howard. Gianluigi Buffon. David de Gea. Beards look tough in goal.